In 2018, I started writing a novel. In 2010 I wrote a self-published non-fiction book, gaining the praise of at least one person and read by people far away. I know it because I hid the book in their luggage, so technically, if they read it on their overseas trip, I am an international author.
It was a phenomenal success. Just the royalties alone from that book were enough to buy me and my wife a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks, and although it was small and we had to share, it was wonderful knowing that someone read the book, and for that someone, they were one of the few to read my first book. If that was you, please let us know; we want to thank you for the Latte.
I love to write. I like to sound witty, urbane (whatever that means), hip, with not too much lip. Essentially, prose filled with ‘foppish aplomb.’
I’ll wait until you google “what does ‘foppish’ mean.” <Insert Cricket Sound Here>
Ok, I give: it means “excessively refined and fastidious in taste and manner!” I suppose you want me to help you with ‘aplomb’ too, right? <Insert Cricket’s Singing Here>
Here it is, it means ‘poised and self-confident.”
This fancy word has no bearing on what I will tell you because my first novel is not “excessively refined and fastidiously tasteful,” nor was it written with “poise and self-confidence” because that’s just not me. I just loved the phrase the first time I heard it on Psych. Sometimes I like to walk around, say it out loud, and laugh. You should try it, just not in the produce section at Wal-Mart, though. I learned the hard way that you don’t do that there. The guy sniffing the tomatoes thought I was losing my mind when I did, which caused a stir for a bit. I guess sniffing every tomato in the produce section is NOT strange but walking around saying “foppish aplomb” in a produce section is, so…whatever.
I love to write, have fun, tell stories and give stuff away. In fact, right now, I am standing in front of my refrigerator, wondering if I should give my wife’s broccoli away. Sure, she will miss it, but I am sure there are starving kids somewhere that would love to eat broccoli, and maybe, just maybe, she will love me for giving it away due to my benevolent nature. Just kidding, I’m not generous with someone else’s broccoli. I hate broccoli but love to live, so I will leave it alone. I promise this, though: you will NEVER, EVER catch me sniffing broccoli.
The title of my novel is “Meeting Jack Cash.” The idea came to me in 2018 in a hospital room at 2:30 a.m. It is possible that severe sleep deprivation slapped me a few times, threw me on the floor, shook me violently, and then forced me to write down. I did, and that started the whole novel-writing journey. I don’t think that sleep deprivation hurts the creative process at all.
After that episode, I began to write. I wrote early in the morning, late at night, and on my day off. It was an incredible 130,000+ word experience, and now I have completed it, edited it, sent it to an editor, then edited it again. I rewrote parts of it, took names and edited it. Now, I am actively seeking agency representation for it.
I will tell you a little about it below, but I have to say, it’s not funny, although there are a few places where one might laugh. It’s not sad, although one might cry in a few more places, and in even more areas, someone may feel a little jittery because of the action. It is fiction of the thriller variety. I made it up, although not all of it was imagined in a sleep-deprived state.
Anyway, I wanted to offer anyone who might like to read a few of its pages a golden opportunity. Think of it like the golden ticket in Willy Wonka, but instead of being turned into something like a purple jawbreaker, the writing will make you think, blink, keep you from the brink, and maybe offer “a little nonsense now and then…for it is relished by the wisest men.” -quote from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory since I brought it up!
I have written a blurb below to entice people to read my writing and hopefully lure an unsuspecting agent into actually reading the novel. The blurb is a simple way of expressing the content of the book. You can get a LONGER portion of the story if you sign up for my blog. It’s free, but you have to sign up for it, which technically does not make it free because it will cost you your email address. Still, I promise I will never sell, give away, or auction to the highest or lowest bidder, so your email address is safe with me. Just as long as some government hackers don’t intrude, we should be good.
You should know that the novel is NOT in stores yet. When it is, they will not know what happened. Long lines of people will snake around their building, waiting to get their hands on “MEETING JACK CASH,” Once they do, I envision squealing. Not like shrieking with fear, but the kind of joy that one receives when they give broccoli to a starving child. Even before they read, pleasure and purpose will fill the reader. If you want to experience such euphoria, go ahead and give a kid some broccoli. Even better, give them mine.
I also envision letters, by the millions, thanking me for writing “MEETING JACK CASH.” Some from cardiologists (because of the heart-pumping action this book will encourage); some from lonely women who love dating men whose previous wives have been murdered; and many from stores, thanking me for writing such a popular book.
I am sure it will encourage someone in the movie-making industry to consider an entire series of movies based on Jack Cash. Moviegoers will flock to the films laden with popcorn, soda, and severely overpriced boxed candy to see said movie. It’s going to be epic, at least that’s what I envisioned in my sleep-deprived moment that fateful day in 2018.
I must be careful, though; even though I already said it, IT IS NOT A COMEDY. You may have laughed already, which gave the impression that I write funny stuff, and again, IT IS NOT A SAD NOVEL. You may have cried already, wondering why you have wasted so much time reading this blog article. Regardless, it is a mystery/thriller work of fiction.
My book club read it, and all agreed they couldn’t put it down. One person said, “I woke up at 2 a.m. thinking about Jack Cash and couldn’t go back to sleep until I read more. There I was, at 2 a.m., folding towels, reading a pre-published copy of ‘Meeting Jack Cash,’ unable to sleep or stop reading.” I know the feeling because that whole “sleep deprivation” thing messed me up too. Others said the same thing, but most were able to sleep.
So, here are a few blurbs about “MEETING JACK CASH:”
When it makes the New York Times Best Sellers List, you will find something like this:
“Seven meetings on a beach set Jack Cash’s life on a course of murder, suspense, and mystery.”
The back of the book will read something like this:
MEETING JACK CASH by John W. Utley
“The beach was Jack’s place of solace after every murder. He met six of his seven wives there. There, he found Kim, a long-forgotten friend from high school, grieving the loss of her husband. It all seemed like a fairy tale of broken people brought together by fate until a secret from Jack’s past changed everything. Suddenly, that secret forces Jack and Kim to run from rogue government agents and members of a drug cartel. The chase turned to pursuit as Jack races to uncover the truth that will change his life forever, a truth that reveals Kim’s true intentions.”
Interested in reading a portion of “MEETING JACK CASH?” Sign up for my blog, and I will send you a few chapters. Until I find representation, I will not provide more than this portion. Email me if you are already a member, and I will send you a few chapters. If you don’t want to sign up, that’s fine, at least now you know what’ foppish aplomb’ means.
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